Think
by Cristya Blade
Summary: Set after Bleach Chapter 488. Rukia is upset about the upcoming war and all the rumors until Renji comes to check on her... at which time she becomes even more upset. But that wasn't Renji's intention, he came for something else. RukiaxRenji


I started writing this just after Chapter 488, so it's not current or anything, but I just finished writing it yesterday. I'm sorry I'm so lazy! But here it is, a Valentine's Day gift for you, hope you enjoy!

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Rukia stared out at the night in Soul Society. Usually it was dark, tonight it was blazing with lanterns. Five days, they had five days- until what? Another war?

Another presence entered the walkway, but Rukia didn't have the will to move. She heard the footsteps come closer until they stopped next to her. She felt the rail she was leaning against shift with new weight, and she closed her eyes slowly as she took a couple of deep breaths.

"Do you think they're true?" her quiet voice was barely audible in the busy night air.

"Huh?"

"The rumors. I know you've heard them by now."

A tuft of red hair fell in her periphery as Renji shifted uncomfortably next to her.

"They're just rumors. I mean, they haven't been confirmed or anything."

Both of them were silent for a moment and simultaneously contemplated the scathing look that Byakuya had given Mayuri. They knew what he suspected.

"All those souls missing. And if the rumors are true, gone."

"They're not _gone,_" Renji said roughly, "They're _reborn._"

"What difference does it make, if it wasn't their time?" Rukia slammed her hand down hard on the railing as she straightened rigidly.

"Rukia, calm down-"

"I will _not _calm down; what right does that scumbag think he has-"

"Rukia, that's a captain you're-"

"He's a _scumbag_, and I could call him worse!"

Renji opened his mouth to argue, but promptly closed it again. He couldn't exactly disagree with her since he felt the same way.

Rukia was glaring daggers out at the night, rubbing her thumb over her tightly fisted fingers. Renji briefly glanced around and, seeing no one, he bent his head closer to Rukia's height.

"Listen, I know how you feel."

She shot him a challenging look, he tried to keep steady while he met it. They held that way for a moment until Rukia narrowed her eyes and looked away.

"I do," he repeated. She sighed.

"Rukia, I don't want to believe Captain Mayuri really ordered all those souls exterminated, but I know just as well as you that he'd be the type to do it."

Rukia crossed her arms and stared away again.

"But still, we- supposedly- have five days until this invasion. We can't handle dissent in the ranks, not now."

Rukia hugged her arms and made a face, eventually dropping her head.

"I know. You're right, Renji. But..." she looked up at him hesitantly and apparently decided against meeting his gaze, dropping her head again. "That could have been us. We were from the poorest districts, too. That could have been us. If we were weaker, if we were still in that place..."

"They're better off now. At least some of them have a chance of getting out of a life of poverty-"

"Did we think our friends were better off when they left us?"

Renji forced the surge of memories down. He couldn't be distracted by that right now.

"And Renji, what about the friendships they made? They won't remember the people who were important to them."

"That's what happens when you die," he said trying to keep his voice level.

"So that's it, you're ok with it?"

Renji threw his arms out to the side and raised himself to full height. "Hell, Rukia! Of course not! But what do you want me to do about it?"

She looked up at him on the verge of tears with a scowl on her face.

"You're stupid, Renji! An idiot. Idiot!"

She slammed into his arm as she brusquely passed him, nearly knocking him over. He turned- faster than she was expecting- and grabbed her arm.

"No. No, don't you _dare _walk away from me right now. I'm serious Rukia! I'm tired of problem after problem after problem and heaven knows I'm not the sharpest tack, so tell me. _What do you want me to do about it?_"

Rukia tried to keep her eyebrows from raising. "Let go of me."

"No," he growled, "Rukia, why do you think I came here tonight?"

"I-" she tugged her arm away a little but he didn't budge. "I don't know, if you're really so single minded you should be back in the sixth division preparing-"

"Right. That's where I could be. But this is where I am. I came here to see you, to make sure you were ok, and all you can tell me is how much of an idiot I am. Fine then, Rukia. But if I'm really as big an idiot as you say, then why won't you just tell me what you want me to do?!"

Rukia tugged on the fabric of her sleeve but still couldn't free herself. She grunted and stamped her foot.

"I want you to think, Renji! You're always so quick to charge ahead that I wonder if you ever do. I know you used to think about things, but now I'm not sure if you even can anymore!"

"Geez," he sighed and loosened his grip, "you really have no idea, do you?"

Rukia ripped her arm away and rubbed it testily. "What are you talking about?"

"I've trained Rukia; tried to get stronger... and do you know what I learned? You can think of a million things. What if I do this? What if I don't? What if I mess up? What if I succeed? And you know what; none of that counts when it matters. When it really matters you can only think about one thing."

Rukia scoffed. "And what do you think about? Defeating your opponent? Becoming stronger? Honestly."

"No," he said so seriously that Rukia had to look up to see his face, "it's you. It's always been you, Rukia. It used to be... how could I catch you, how could I reach you... And then it was how far away from me will you go? Would you get hurt? Would you die? And would it be my fault, because," his voice failed him for a moment. Rukia watched, almost fascinated as his adams apple rose and fell when he swallowed.

"Because I was too weak to protect you. I didn't have a choice anymore Rukia. I couldn't keep thinking all those thoughts. I learned I only had room for one. Not _if_ I could protect you... but that I _would_."

"Renji..." Rukia couldn't think of anything to say, but she didn't have any time in which to say it anyway. Renji hastily took the side of her face in his hand and before she knew it he'd closed the distance between the two of them and pressed his lips against hers.

In shock, Rukia's mouth may have gaped open just a bit, and over the flatline noise that had filled Renji's brain immediately following contact, he thought something along the lines of _there is no way I'm lucky enough for this to actually be an open mouthed kiss_.

He was right, Rukia roughly pulled away and began to stammer, angry and incoherant. "You-! What-! You- dumb- erk!" In truth her face was just barely more red than his, but she was more flustered than he'd ever seen her. She reached up faster than a thought and smartly slapped him.

"Ugh!" she growled and turned to stomp off. She stopped and clutched the sides of her hakama in her shaking fists. She whirled around and stomped back.

"You!" she reached up and voilently grabbed the scruff of his collar and pulled him back in again. This kiss was just as awkward as the first until a second later- when his brain kicked in, she suspected- and he joined the party. Seconds passed as Rukia forgot how to breathe and didn't care, but when she realized that their hands were so tangled in each other's hair that it was highly possible they'd never come free, she pulled away. And when she did, all she could see was his stupified, adorable face. They both panted for a moment until they could hear anything beyond their own breathing, and Rukia sighed.

"That was f-for luck! So-" Rukia abruptly turned to leave. "So worry about yourself. And... D-don't die! Stupid!"

"Yeah," Renki raised his hand slowly to his lips, not completely believing what had just happened. "Yeah. You too."


End file.
